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增強(qiáng)語(yǔ)句表現(xiàn)力的五大王牌

2008-05-30

來(lái)源:

小編: 29
摘要:

一、避免使用語(yǔ)意弱的“be”動(dòng)詞。


1、把句中的表語(yǔ)轉(zhuǎn)換為不同的修飾語(yǔ)。例如:


Weak: The trees are bare. The grass is brown. The landscape seems drab. Revision:The brown grass and bare trees form a drab landscape. (轉(zhuǎn)換為前置定語(yǔ))


Or: The landscape, bare and brown, begged for spring green. (轉(zhuǎn)換為并列結(jié)構(gòu)作后置定語(yǔ))


2、將作表語(yǔ)用的形容詞或名詞變?yōu)樾袨閯?dòng)詞。例如:


1) Weak: The team members are good players.


Revision: The team members play well.


2) Weak: One worker's plan is the elimination of tardiness.


Revision: One worker's plan eliminates tardiness.


3、在以“here”或“there”開(kāi)頭的句子中,把“be”動(dòng)詞后的名詞代詞變成改寫(xiě)句的主語(yǔ)。例如:


1) Weak: There is no opportunity for promotion.


Revision: No opportunity for promotion exists.


2) Weak: Here are the books you ordered.


Revision: The books you ordered have arrived.


二、多用語(yǔ)意具體的動(dòng)詞,保持句意簡(jiǎn)潔明了。例如:


1、Poor: My supervisor went past my desk.


Better: My supervisor sauntered (=walked slowly) past my desk.


2、Poor: She is a careful shopper.


Better: She compares prices and quality.


三、盡量運(yùn)用主動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)。例如:


1、Weak: The organization has been supported by charity.


Better: Charity has supported the organization.


2、Weak: The biscuits were stacked on a plate.


Better: Mother stacked the biscuits on a plate.


四、防止使用語(yǔ)意冗長(zhǎng)累贅的詞語(yǔ)。例如:


1、Wordy: My little sister has a preference for chocolate milk.


Improved: My little sister prefers chocolate milk.


2、Wordy: We are in receipt of your letter and intend to follow your recommendations.


Improved: We have received your letter and intended to follow your recommendation.


3、Redundant: We had a serious crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.


Improved: We had a crisis at school yesterday when our chemistry laboratory caught fire.


4、Redundant: My sister and I bought the same, identical dress in different stores.


Improved: My sister and I bought the same dress in different stores.


五、杜絕濫用陳舊詞語(yǔ)或難懂的專業(yè)術(shù)語(yǔ)。例如:


1、Weak: They will not agree to his proposals in any shape or form.


Improved: They will not agree to any of his proposals.


2、Weak: I need her financial input before I can guesstimate our expenditures next fall.


Improved: I need her financial figures before I can estimate our expenditures next fall.

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