2011年2月19日雅思作文第一時(shí)間評析
來源：
小編： 116【話題作文】
Some people think that men and women should be equal in a country's
police force and military force; while others think that women are not
suitable to do such work. Discuss both views and give your own
opinion.
【馮老師點(diǎn)評】
這是之前考過的題目。純粹的舊題重現(xiàn)?。?！所以大家一定要多看以前考過的經(jīng)典題目。我的課堂補(bǔ)充資料和博客。http://blog1.ielts.com.cn/blog/index.php?uid-34-noframe-1
話題內(nèi)容：屬于社會話題中關(guān)于弱勢群體的內(nèi)容。 總體思路是一定要支持弱勢群體。所以，這篇文章的觀點(diǎn)應(yīng)該傾向于支持女性應(yīng)該享有和男性平等的權(quán)利。
結(jié)構(gòu)分析： 屬于討論類四段式。 首段+主體段（2個(gè)）+末段 。
在主體段中，先寫自己不贊成的一方，采用兩邊倒的方式。再寫自己贊成的一方，同樣也是兩邊倒的方式。
【寫作思路】
因?yàn)槭巧鐣掝}，所以從以下四個(gè)角度中選擇適合本題的方向。
A：經(jīng)濟(jì)角度
B：科技角度
C: 社會角度
D：公眾個(gè)人角度
就本題而言，從B、D兩個(gè)角度比較合理。
女性不適合的原因：
D： 在大家看來，女性在身體和意志力上都比較柔弱，可能不適合這樣艱辛的工作。
但是，隨著時(shí)代的變化， 當(dāng)兵或警察再也不是純粹的體力工作。這些職業(yè)應(yīng)該具備更多別的重要技能。
女性應(yīng)該當(dāng)兵或警察的原因：
B： 科技角度： 現(xiàn)在很多人提倡女性也可以參軍或當(dāng)警察，主要是因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在的軍隊(duì)或警察隊(duì)伍不再是以前那種單純的武力部隊(duì)，而是高科技的部隊(duì)。所以，女性和男性一樣都具備這樣的素質(zhì)去從事這樣的職業(yè)。
D： 男性和女性在辦事的能力上有差別，也就是說，他們相互之間可以形成互補(bǔ)，提高工作效率。
但是，女性也有不適合的地方，不能讓她們承擔(dān)一些不適合他們特長的工作。
思路點(diǎn)評：
大家從上面的構(gòu)思過程中會發(fā)現(xiàn)，這兩方觀點(diǎn)之間是有關(guān)聯(lián)的。要把雙方主題句對立起來進(jìn)行博弈，這樣的文章結(jié)構(gòu)才能更加緊密。不要完全脫離，各自說各自的。
【主題句寫作】
有了上述的構(gòu)思，我們就要寫主題句。主題句是文章的核心，所以，考生在備考的時(shí)候一定要重點(diǎn)練習(xí)。
什么樣的主題句才是符合要求的？
１） 句式上多用復(fù)雜句；
２） 意思上包含主題詞。
具體的內(nèi)容大家可以參考我上課的資料。
寫完主題句，就要去寫支持句。支持句的特色是：
１）句式上可以是簡單句；
２） 意思上是對主題句的展開。
我希望大家記住這樣一個(gè)宗旨： 雅思寫作一定不是堆砌辭藻和句式。應(yīng)該是“句式上長短相加，意思上簡單明確。
【最新例文】
Whether or not women should be treated equal in police or military
forces as their counterparts is a frequent topic of discussion when
gender equality has been cast in the spotlight these days.
Some claim that females are not competent for such occupations due
primarily to verified facts. First, it is commonly believed that they
are not physically strong enough to fulfill their job responsibility
because of the adverse working conditions. In the case of a military
training, soldiers have to take heavy exercises to get stronger to
shoulder the responsibility for safeguarding their nation. But, the
women fail to persist in it and meet the demand. However, accompanied
with the advances in science and technology, they can not only possess
stronger physical conditions, but keep up with the pace of times as
well.
Under such circumstances, others stand firm on this point that women
should be equal to men in those aspects. Firstly, as what have been
mentioned above, today’s army or police forces have been equipped with
advanced technology and profound knowledge. In other words, the
workers, women or men, have to master a wide range of skills in order
to cope with what is happening or will happen in their work. In front
of knowledge, gender is not an obstacle any more. Next, in the
civilized army or police, women should be given the same opportunities
as men for the simple reason that they can make up the disadvantages
of their counterparts, with the consequences of progress in the long
term. Or that, the women and men enjoy different merits of their own
so it is of necessity to offer them more opportunities to exercise
their edges. Nevertheless, it is not to say that women are versatile
to perform every position in the army and police, as it did in the
case of expenditures or crusades which are too tough for them. But,
this demerit can be dealt with. The solution is that they can be
screened out to take some clerical positions which are as important as
those technical ones.
In terms of what have been debated above, I am convinced that women
should be given the equal opportunity to join the army or police
because they can make contribution to a higher level of civilization
in the society. (383字)
